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| Bannack, Montana Photo Courtesy of Trisha Jones Photography |
I've had the opportunity to visit my new school and speak with the staff, high school teachers, and most importantly my cooperating teaching. Just last week the superintendent/principal/teacher (remember I'm at a small rural school) armed me with teacher and student handbooks, my class schedule, a printout of my students' information, and a trip to my future classroom. I'm grateful for all of the information, but I must admit that something is missing...and I'm afraid it is my confidence. Sure, I've breezed through lesson plans, unit plans, in-class teaching to peers, a million pages of reading, and even a practicum experience where I was allowed to practice my teacher-magic on real live specimens (teenagers), but this student teaching business is different.
Admittedly, I am nervous about my relationship with my cooperating teaching. At first I thought, how could she not love me? I'm eager, excited, mature, knowledgeable, and perhaps most importantly, passionate, but what if that isn't enough? Or, what if she decides that she doesn't want someone marching into her classroom and shaking things up? In all of their wisdom and kindness my professors tell me to not worry and just be my rockin teacher self (in so many words) and that I can't possibly fail, but let's face it...we've all heard horror stories of how student teaching has gone terribly wrong.
In my communications to my CT (cooperating teacher) I have tried to be mindful of her busy schedule, but all the while I'm obsessively checking my email hoping to find a response that will enlighten me of the ways of the teacher. After two weeks of waiting I finally received my first response (this began last May) and was slightly disappointed. Very little information was given to me and I chalked it up to "end of the year craziness" all the while slightly lowering my expectations. A very prescribed method of how to appropriately contact your CT was bestowed upon my brain while at MSU, but clearly such a prescription doesn't always give accurate results. What should I expect from my CT, even in the early stages?
I was invited to attend the end of the year teacher days (PIR days) in June shortly after school was dismissed for summer break and jumped at the chance to be involved in "real teacher duties." This would also hopefully allow me the opportunity to meet my CT and pick her brain as to how I can use the summer to prepare for the upcoming school year. There were many items on the agenda those few days and in the end I only received a hodge-podge of information and a promise that I would get an all-telling email later in the summer. Patiently I waited, but as my fellow English Education peers received their placements and then curriculum outlines I began to wonder just who my CT is. So, I'm not overly prepared for student teaching, but is that as big of a deal as my nervous-excited-semi-freaking-out gut tells me? I've spent years, if not my entire life preparing for this by not only attending classes, but reading and reflecting.
Student teachers can't expect their CT's to be mind readers, or to drop what their doing to go over every detail of how they run their classrooms and day-to-day activities. I'm prepared, but not over-prepared. In some ways the unknowing is a clever disguise for keeping me on my toes and ready for what happens, and not what I've prepared to happen. In upcoming blog entries I will continue to explore the ST-CT relationship and the coulda, shoulda, wouldas of preparing for this leg of the journey.
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